All You Can Eat

The latest Hollywood weight loss fad has caused concerned doctors to launch a public awareness campaign. FleshRelease reportedly involves having your hands, feet, head, knees and shoulders dipped in gravy. You are then left on a ravaged hillside where birds of prey are encouraged to peck at you, removing unsightly bulges. Celebrated acting performer Sheril Dancom is rumoured to be hooked on the technique, having tried it in preparation for the recent Oscars ceremony. Many viewers suspected something unusual when they noticed part of her left eye was missing.