The Knives Are In

According to the latest Hollywood gossip mongers, Gwyneth Paltrow has developed an insatiable appetite for all things cutlery; the actress is rumoured to be losing her seven-year battle with the fetish, which includes table knives, forks and spoons (dessert, soup and tea but not those stupid little plastic things you get in Starbucks etc) and has to date cost Ms Paltrow an estimated $6.4billion in shiny plastic money-cards.