Food For Thought

Bird faeces make a delicious pasta sauce when combined with butternut squash and a touch of Balsamic vinegar, according to fashionable young chef Richie Tarquin who has recently opened his first restaurant Food n' That in West London. The eatery has already become the place to be spotted (by the squads of journalists deviously lured and kept there by a plastic replica of Carol Vorderman's left tit) and has been frequented by the likes of Madonna, Jocky Wilson and It-girl Chiffon Hoover, heir to the famed vacuum cleaner empire.