Collateral Damage

TV sources indicate that a new reality show to replace Big Brother is currently under development. The show, intended to take reality TV to the next level, is a closely guarded secret at the moment, but a few tidbits of info have already leaked out. The format is being described as 'conflict exploratory', and is believed to comprise two contestants locked in a room with a convicted multiple rapist armed with a bread knife and coked up to the eyeballs. The contestants will be given the chance to compete for the public vote by inserting random household objects into their own bodies (through an orifice of their choice). Winning the public vote will allow contestants five minute consultations with an emergency doctor during which they may receive a limited range of medical treatments to alleviate their suffering by a small margin. A celebrity edition is of course planned.